


wash the shadows out

by sapphic_commander



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra gets chipped, Chipped Catra (She-Ra), F/F, Mind Control, Possession, Pre Episode s05e05 Save the Cat, Torture, catradora sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphic_commander/pseuds/sapphic_commander
Summary: The aftermath of Catra helping Glimmer escape. Horde Prime promises her she has a place in his empire. She will have a purpose, and she will matter more to him than she ever did to Adora.She just isn't expecting to become one of his clones. Catra wants to fight, she wants to be strong.But it's hard when Horde Prime is telling her Adora doesn't care for her, and when her entire body is in agony.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It is 1am. I am supposed to get up early in the morning. Yet here we are.  
> Anyways, I decided to randomly write about Catra getting chipped, because I feel like that would’ve been a super interesting process to watch.  
> Also, I had to watch the actual scene to make sure the dialogue was right, so this was real dedication here.

Catra fought the whole way there. She screamed and bit and flailed around, biting the clones and hissing and scratching.

They barely even glanced down at her, instead gripping her tighter until she could feel her flesh grinding against her bones.

She was forced to her knees at the base of Horde Prime’s throne, and when the clones took a few steps away, she didn’t try anything. Instead, she sat slumped, shoulders sloped down and chin lowered. 

Horde Prime tutted, a sharp clicking that echoed in the silence, looking down at her in disdain. When she didn’t look up, he carefully lifted her head with the sharp point of his boot. 

It made her feel dirty, like a toy that had been discarded, the one toy no child had wanted to play with or touch. 

It made her feel small.

Prime’s green eyes were narrowed, glinting menacingly in the odd lighting of the ship. 

“The Etherian ship has changed course,” he said, low and dangerous. Catra clenched her jaw, trying to keep fear from rising into her eyes. Prime stood, spine rigid and straight, casting a shadow over her. She had to crane her neck to look up at him. “No matter. Your treachery will not save them.” 

Behind her, an echoing chorus of voices began to chant, their voices melding and echoing eerily. 

“Prime casts out all shadows. Prime casts out all shadows.” Catra’s ears flicked back nervously, and she swallowed. 

“There is no darkness that my light cannot pierce, no distance that my hand cannot reach,” Prime hissed, his voice rising, and with it, the chorus. He raised his arms, a blazing white outline against the green and grey of the ship. 

The chanting rose to shouting, a horrifying and overwhelming mantra, the tall ceiling twisting the sound until it felt like it was coming in from all sides, crushing her and consuming her all at once. 

Catra spun, disoriented, and her eyes widened when she saw the source. 

Behind her, separated by a chasm of darkness, thousands and thousands of clones had been cloaked in shadow. Now, she could see their green eyes, glowing with menace. 

“They will not be able to hide from me forever!” Prime dropped his arms, and immediately, the clones went silent, leaving a horrible, stifling silence. 

Catra turned back to the leader, trying to look brave, flattening her ears against her head and baring her teeth. He regarded her coldly, a smug smile stretching across his face. Then, the smile dropped.

“You were beloved in my sight, and this is how you repay me,” he said, eyes darkening with anger. 

He was mad.

Catra had succeeded, and his plans were ruined. 

She had defeated the mighty Lord Prime. 

Despite her circumstances, Catra threw her head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the space. For a moment, Prime looked surprised, but he seemed to collect himself, and his eyes narrowed. 

“What did you expect?” Catra said, grinning wickedly. She leaned forward, boldened by her realization. “After all, us Etherians are so very _emotional_.” She went serious again, lifting her chin. “It doesn’t matter what you do to me. Glimmer is gone, and you will _never_ get your hands on Adora.”

_She’ll be safe._

_Away from Horde Prime._

_Away from me._

_With her friends._

Before Catra could dwell on the thought, Prime seemed to regain some of his confidence, and now it was his turn to smirk. 

Catra hated the way it made her stomach sink, hated the way that smile could make her feel like she was a cadet in the Horde all over again, powerless and naive and stupid. 

“Oh, my child, you’re wrong. Everyone has a place in my empire.” He reached down, grasping her chin, the metal tips of his fingers cold and sharp, just like his boot. Catra tried to jerk away, but his hand gripped her jaw like a vise, trapping her in place. “You will be of use to me yet.”

With that, he tilted his head towards the nearby clones, and they came forward, grasping Catra from underneath her arms. She twisted, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Let go of me! What is this?” she cried desperately. Prime smiled, his sharp canines flashing in the light. 

“This is a new beginning for you, _little sister_.” At the name, Catra went still, eyes widening in horror. Noticing, Prime nodded, smile growing wider. “Yes, you understand, don’t you?” 

He lifted a hand, and the clones froze in place. Prime walked forward slowly, robes swishing across the floor. Catra could hear her own breathing, harsh, panicked gasps. 

“Don’t worry,” he murmured, leaning down. “It hurts at first, but the pain is worth it. You won’t even remember it when you join us.” 

He turned, striding back to his throne, and the clones resumed, walking down the stairs, and dragging Catra with them.

“No!” she screamed. “No, no, no!” 

She started to cry, her howls coming out strangled and anguished. 

She was utterly alone. She had no one here, no one even coming to save her.

No one to say goodbye to. Not even Adora. 

And she was going to die that way. 

Alone. 

It was fitting though. She herself had sent Glimmer off, and now she was going to become some sort of mindless monster. 

But, hadn’t she already been that? Working herself to the bone with no rest, with simply the objective of rising to the top?

Simply a body, a soldier, with not a second thought about what she was doing, what orders she was executing? 

Orders that hurt people. 

Hurt her friends. 

Sometimes they were commands she issued herself. 

Perhaps this was best. 

Because _she_ was a darkness.

And Horde Prime would wash the shadows out.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking longer than expected to post this! for some reason I lost all motivation, but once I rested and recharged for a few days I was able to finish it.  
> anyways, I hope you enjoy this final chapter! I know this storyline has been done a thousand times, but hopefully this isn't boring. I was honestly pretty proud of it.  
> omg I'm so sorry I forgot this earlier (I'm adding this in) but proceed with caution if you're squeamish, there's one part that mentions maggots, so if you don't like that stuff skip past it or don't read.

They dragged her down the spiraling stairs, further and further into the darkness of the chasm. Catra had stopped fighting after realizing the attempt was futile, and now she hung limp and defeated, eyes half-lidded and feet bumping along the steps. 

The gloom seemed to swallow them, like a great beast waiting with its jaws wide open. Catra, despite her enhanced vision, couldn’t see anything aside from the green glow of the clones’ eyes. It didn’t provide any sort of assistance, only a reminder that soon, she would be like them.

She would serve Horde Prime. 

Catra shut her eyes, inhaling sharply through her nose. 

Would she do so without question? Would she have _any_ say, any authority, in what she wanted? Would she have thoughts and wants and fears and goals?

Or would she simply be a puppet, skin and bone, carrying out his orders however he wished?

Whatever the case, Catra made herself promise she would fight as hard as she could, no matter the cost. 

She would _not_ become a mindless monster again. 

As she opened her eyes, Catra’s heart stuttered, her breath catching in her throat. 

They had started down a hallway, and Catra could now see the dim outlines of the clones.

At the end of the hall was a room, grey like the rest of the ship, but bathed in a green glow. Some light spilled into the passageway, like a beacon, beckoning them forward into its warm embrace. 

Catra could almost feel it tugging her towards it.

Away from the cold. Away from the darkness. 

_Fight._

_Fight, like you promised yourself._

But suddenly, Catra’s limbs felt heavy. She had no motivation to move, no fuel left to get herself to struggle.

_Don’t go down easy._

The light seemed welcoming. 

_If you just twist to the side and kick his knee, you could probably wrench free._

And, even if she did miraculously manage to escape the clones, where would she go?

_At least make an_ attempt _to run._

She didn’t have any sense of direction in this maze, and she didn’t have a ship to fly away on.

_Don’t give up. Make it a struggle._

There was no one to save her. 

_Save_ yourself _!_

The sooner she accepted it, the better. 

_FIGHT!_

And so, with this realization, Catra let them.

She let them drag her into the room, let them strap her to a big, white table, cushioned, like the one at the doctor’s office. Her back was left exposed. 

Light from a luminescent pool of green liquid bounced off of a tray with an assortment of tools, something a surgeon would use.

Her cheek pressed against the cool leather of the table, head tilted to the left and eyes straining to keep the clones in her peripheral vision. The metal of her mask dug into her jaw uncomfortably.

Catra watched as one of the clones took out a curved blade, simply swallowed as he lowered it, hovering over her head. 

Before he did anything, the clone paused, regarding her for a moment. Then, he reached towards her face, grasping her red mask, and ripping it away. Catra let out a gasp of surprise, stiffening in shock. 

The mask clattered to the floor, ringing hollowly. 

Her eyebrow twitched, eyes narrowing.

But, she remained silent, grinding her teeth and turning her gaze back to the clone. 

He brought the blade down, and Catra flinched, expecting him to do something in an attempt to hurt her.

Instead, she heard a gentle scraping as he grabbed a strand of hair and sawed it off. 

She didn’t say a word as he began to cut off huge tufts of hair, didn’t try to get him to stop.

She watched as one clump floated lifelessly to the floor, scattering as it landed.

To her, it felt like she was losing her lion’s mane, the thing that made her look big and brave.

She felt exposed, vulnerable. 

A single tear slipped down her cheek, helpless and alone.

Just like her. 

**************************************************

When the floor was covered with her hair, the clone that had cut it off didn’t bother cleaning it up.

He walked over to a small table, ignoring Catra as glared with all the fire she had left in her, and picked up the tray with surgical tools. 

Catra could see her own warped reflection in the bottom of the metal, and she nearly burst out sobbing at the sight.

Her wild mane was gone, leaving her hair short and uneven, parts of it sticking up. 

Without her mask, without the long hair she had grown so accustomed to, she looked… small. Weak. 

She looked how she felt on the inside.

That wasn’t something she was used to.

Before, Catra had always compensated for any sad feelings she had by creating a hard outer shell. She would push any emotions that would hinder her down, would put on her uniform, would wear her mask.

She would push people away, bark orders and threaten and yell as much as she needed. 

It was how she protected herself.

In the end, it all backfired. She had broken down, and she had failed. 

Not only had she lost the person she truly loved most, she had also lost herself.

Now, seeing herself like this, it almost felt relieving. 

She didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. 

Somehow, she looked like herself.

It was unnerving to realize that in this unfamiliar place, she was able to settle into her own skin. On one hand, she wanted to reprimand herself. On the other, she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

_What is wrong with you? You promised yourself you would fight. Now look at you. Just lying here, crying over your stupid hair._

Catra blinked, pushing the internal voice to the back of her mind. There was no reason to be angry about it now.

It was done. She was here, and there was no way out. 

There was nothing she could do. 

The clone lifted a glass vial, rattling the object inside.

He tipped it, the object falling into his palm.

It was small and metal, circular, with pointed spikes, making it look like a star. In the middle was a clear diamond, empty. 

Catra could sense it was missing something. It needed to be completed.

The clone took out a large needle, but instead of approaching Catra, he walked over to the glowing pool. Leaning down, he filled the needle with the luminescent liquid, then injected the contents into the clear diamond.

The star-shaped contraption seemed to vibrate with energy, green veins stretching across it, sprouting from the center. 

Catra swallowed, watching with anticipation. 

The clone held the metal object between his hands, inspecting it and squinting, and then nodding his approval. 

The second clone, who had been standing to the side, came forward, placing his hands on either side of Catra’s head. 

She flinched, her heart thudding.

Clone Number One approached slowly, lifting a pair of forceps, and clamping the chip between the metal jaws. It glinted menacingly.

Catra watched with wide eyes, a heaviness settling in her chest. 

The clone exchanged a look with the one holding her in place, and nodded.

“May Horde Prime guide you to the light,” he recited, voice monotone and robotic. 

The hands around her head tightened, gripping her in place.

The clone lowered the forceps, a chill brushing over her neck as his shadow fell over her.

Catra shivered, closing her eyes.

The metal made contact with the back of her neck.

For a moment, it was just cold, causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. 

Catra almost had enough time to feel relief. 

But then, a sharp pain lanced through her spine.

Catra gasped, eyes flying open.

The world was tinted a sickly shade of green.

An uncomfortable warmth was creeping up her neck, her checks, down the base of her throat.

It felt like maggots worming their way into her skin.

Catra screamed, thrashing.

It was futile.

Her eyes burned, black creeping around the edges.

An ache in her neck seemed to crush her from the inside out, seizing her body in an iron grip.

Every movement sent a new wave of agony through her spine, and she choked out a gasping breath. 

“Prime cast out all shadows. Prime casts out all shadows. Prime casts out all shadows,” the clones chanted beside her. 

If she was able to, Catra would’ve yelled at them to shut up.

Unfortunately, she was a bit preoccupied. 

Catra threw her head back, howling in pain, and a zap of electricity jolted through her body. 

_Great. It shocks me._

_Just my luck._

“Fighting will only make it harder. Join us, and step into the light,” Clone Number One said, bending down to her level.

Catra just bared her teeth, sparing him a glare. 

“Very well,” he sighed. “The hard way then. Remember, sister-” Suddenly, he closed his eyes with a shudder, and when he opened them again, white orbs glowed in the center of the green. 

Horde Prime’s voice echoed eerily out of his mouth, snaking around Catra’s body and gripping her tightly. 

“Little sister,” he said, his voice a low hum. “Do not fight this. Come, bask in my light, child. You will be safe with me. Imagine, no pain. No suffering. You’ll be _free_.” His words were hypnotic, and Catra found herself relaxing, exhaling slowly. “See? Easy.” 

_What are you doing!?_

_Fight this._

_For Adora._

_Fight for her._

Catra began to thrash again, and white-hot heat spread through her body. She cried out, tears leaking from her eyes. 

The black that had receded crept back, threatening to take over her vision. 

It would be so easy to give in.

_You promised yourself you would fight._

“She promised you something too,” Horde Prime said softly, giving her a pitying look. Catra stared. 

“What?”

“Adora. She promised you something too.” Catra blinked, eyebrows furrowing, but she went still when the pieces clicked. A memory flashed before her eyes. 

_“You look out for me, and I look out for you,” Adora said, a gentle smile brightening her features. “Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.”_

_Catra sniffled._

_“You promise?” she whispered tearfully. Adora nodded._

_“I promise.”_

Catra swallowed the lump in her throat, breaking eye contact with Prime. 

“She did not uphold her end of that promise. She _left_ you,” he continued. “She left you to fight your battles alone, to suffer Shadow Weaver’s wrath.” 

Tears gathered in Catra’s eyes as the memories flashed through her mind.

She could practically feel Adora’s hand slipping out of hers, leaving a cold emptiness, not only in her palm, but in the pit of her stomach.

“You don’t matter to her,” Horde Prime purred, leaning closer. “But in my empire, everyone has a purpose. You will be important.” 

_Fight this. For her._

_But did she fight hard enough for you?_

“Remember all the chances she had to come back. She didn’t. She stayed with her _princesses,_ her new friends,” Prime said scornfully. “You are nothing to her.”

_She didn’t mean to hurt me._

_Yet, she still chose them over me._

“Join us. You can be at peace.”

Catra hesitated, and Prime’s eyes darkened.

He placed his hand on the back of her neck, tightening his grip.

Shockwaves of pain bloomed, spreading throughout her body, stars bursting in her vision. 

“Join. Us,” he growled. “Be _free_. We will prevail, and she will see who you can be without her burdening you.”

Catra wanted to fight. She wanted to be strong.

But her entire body was in agony. She wouldn’t hold out for much longer.

And… Being at peace was all she wanted.

She didn’t want to be in pain anymore.

She was so _tired_ of being angry.

It was exhausting.

Prime understood her decision. He smiled, loosening his fingers.

Then, he carefully unclipped the restraints holding her to the table. 

Catra didn’t make an attempt to run, instead laying there, her body spasming every few seconds. 

Prime gently rolled her over, then scooped her up bridal-style. 

He knelt next to the green pool, holding her above the liquid. 

“You will be released from your burdens. Join us. Be _pure_ ,” he said, leaning forward to be heard clearly. Catra’s ear twitched as his hot breath tickled her face.

And then, Prime threw her into the pool. 

**************************************************

Catra felt herself sinking, down, down, down. 

It burned. The liquid prickled her skin, uncomfortably hot. She thrashed, opening her mouth in a soundless scream.

A burst of bubbles erupted from her lips, floating up towards the surface.

Catra reached up towards them, stretching her fingers out, as if they could bring her with them .

But they didn’t.

They left her behind to drown. 

Darkness was overtaking her vision, pulling at her consciousness. 

_Come, little sister,_ Prime hummed in her ear. _We only wish to mend your broken heart._

Catra flexed her claws, as if to fight him, but he wasn’t there. 

He was in her mind.

_That’s right, child. I see all. And I see the pain you are in, the rage you feel when you think of her. The love. But together, we can be strong. Together, we can heal you._

A fresh burst of pain shot through her spine, and Catra shrieked, accidentally inhaling the green water.

Now, not only was she burning on the outside, but on the inside too.

_We will free you._

It hurt. So badly.

She was tired. 

_Come, my child. Come to me,_ Prime murmured, his voice like a lullaby. It sounded so comforting. And Catra was ready to stop fighting. 

She was ready to take the cowards way out. 

And so, before she gave in, Catra whispered one last message in her mind.

Even if she didn’t hear it, it was nice to know she would be the last thing Catra thought of. 

_I’m sorry Adora. I can’t keep fighting._

_Don’t come back for me. Don’t risk that. I’m already gone._

_Save Etheria with your friends. Be the hero you always wanted to be, the hero you_ are.

_Have slumber parties and whisper and make jokes._

_Celebrate your birthday with real cake._

_Go stargazing._

_Go on adventures in the Whispering Woods._

_Wear whatever clothes you want, not just the Horde uniform. Clothes you feel beautiful in._

_Wear your hair down. It always looks pretty like that._

_Laugh, smile, be_ happy.

_Live the life we weren’t able to._

_I love you so much._

_I’m sorry I forgot that._

Catra closed her eyes, going limp.

“I accept Lorde Prime’s light. I accept Lorde Prime’s control,” she whispered, the sound muffled beneath water. 

The heat overtook her, spreading through her temples.

Light bloomed behind her eyelids, beckoning her forward,

_Come to us,_ it whispered, a chorus of dozens of voices. _Bask in Lorde Prime’s greatness._

It was peace. It was _freedom_. 

It was numbing.

And so, Catra reached out, letting the voices envelop her in a cocoon.

_Join us,_ they murmured. 

The light overtook her vision, and Catra exhaled, smiling. 

She felt nothing. She felt no anger, no grief, no pain.

It was wonderful.

_Pathetic. Weak,_ her mind hissed one last time.

And then, Catra let the voices pull her in, welcoming their embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! happy new year, hopefully things will be better this time around :)  
> have a great rest of your day!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! The next chapter should be out soon, not sure exactly when though.  
> Also, I just feel the need to clarify, when Catra says she’s going to die alone, she knows she’s not actually dying. But she doesn’t know what the process of getting chipped is like, so she kinda thinks she’ll forget who she is or just become this sort of puppet. To her, it is death. Sorry, I just felt the need to explain.  
> Enjoy the rest of your day!


End file.
